25. Love All Serve All

“You know what impresses me the most about little Henry?” David asked. I shrugged.

“His innocence lead him to love everyone and everything equally, even those he had never met. In his head he rationally thought that nobody likes a candy that tastes like pepper so he took it upon himself to prevent the candy to be left behind or anyone to be discontent by the taste.”

“Yea, I saw that. He wanted the chocolate one but took the other two instead.” I said.

“Yes, yes… the other charm that boy has, he had an idea, a brilliant idea to enjoy the pepper flavored candy, with a soup flavored candy.” David laughed merrily.

“For every action there is a reaction, for every yes there is a no, for every light there is dark and for every spice there is soup.” David laughed some more, enjoying himself in the wittiness of the small boy.

“You see bella, he was not limited in ideas, and his joyful mind makes everything enjoyable. Everything is an experiment and every experiment is fun regardless the outcome. That’s how a child is and that’s how we should be.

“And how he selflessly thought about the candy and another person’s discontent and would not let that happen. How he cared for that other person who he probably would never meet and the candy that is believed to have no soul. We should all have a loving heart of a child.” David smiled.

“We all are loving children of the universe with brilliant minds and craves of new enlightenments.” He summed up. “Just like little Henry.”

I smiled and nodded. Silently I wish I was a kid again and be as free as they are.

“We all have the child in us bella, we just never listen to it anymore.” Once again I felt like David could read my mind. I looked at him inquiringly and he just smiled like always.

“And it’s never too late to be a child again… to let your soul free and live life with a child’s heart and an adult’s wisdom.” He added while opening the box in his hand.

“Here… choose your candy” he offered the color filled box.

“Does this one taste like chocolate?” I asked pointing on a light chocolate colored candy and raised my left eyebrow teasingly.

He laughed and nodded, “Yes my dear, it tastes like milk chocolate.”

“Then I’ll have this one for Henry.” I said and picked up the candy.

“To Henry…” David agreed.

Chapter 24. A Child

24

“How long have you been standing there, bella?” David asked when he saw me as he turned his head towards where I was standing.

“Not too long.” I said walking over to the bench and sat next to the old hobo.

“Were you listening to my conversation with little Henry?” he asked. I nodded, a little embarrassed to be caught eavesdropping.

“Little Henry, small at age but possess more wisdom than any adult I’ve met.” David said. “But then again, every kid is always wiser than the adults.”

“How is that possible? They are oblivious to the world.” I said.

“But their minds are open, not constructed yet, no barriers yet given from the society, schools, churches, parents and all other influences. So they are open to anything. Every thing is possible to them.

“Just imagine a kid who hasn’t been potty trained, he would do his business just about anywhere, because for him it doesn’t matter where he does it as long as he is let go of the waste. The world is a big potty-pot for him. But as he grows up and was thought that the toilet is where he is suppose to do his number twos and that it is socially humiliating to be seen naked, he starts to go to the toilet and close the door before he drop his pants and sit on the toilet seat. And just like that, the world isn’t a potty pot anymore.”

I laughed at his sentence.

“For a kid, there is no barrier, everything is possible. Even when he fails, he gets up n try it again. He is vigilant, but fear never stops his steps. That is until he was thought or exposed to what is supposedly the right reaction to failure. He learned from his surrounding that to be careful is to be fearful. He noticed that people cry and give up when they hit a little bump. He sees how failure is seen as a humiliation and was not allowed. And all the other norms that the society, religions, parents feed this kid. And so his little mind absorbed everything and he becomes more guided.”

“Are you saying that teaching the kids to be careful is wrong?”

“No bella, I did not say that. Don’t mistake being careful with being fearful. We always have to be careful, but society exposes us to fear and we tend to mix up fear with being careful.” He paused and took a deep breath.

“Sometimes we have to be that kid with no boundaries and a whole lot of inquiries. Did you hear how Henry was asking questions upon questions about that box of candy?”

I nodded. “Yes, he seems to be very curious.”

“Do the kids in your class ask you that many questions? Are they as curious about things as Henry was about the candies?”

“As a matter of fact, yes they do. But that’s what children do. They have limited idea about everything so they become curious and they find the need to find out.”

“Exactly… and are you as curious?”

I thought for a while. I did not even asked anything about those candies when I first saw them. I didn’t bother to. I thought I would eventually figure it out. I didn’t even asked David his name until the third time we met. I suddenly feel so silly.

David laughed, as though he could read my mind and was laughing at me. I feel my face flushed red. I got annoyed.

“I was curious, but I didn’t find the need to inquire cause it was obvious that they were candies and as I tasted a different one each time I take, I figured out that they have different tastes.” I said defending myself.

“Yet it never crossed your mind to ask what color has which flavor.” He mocked.

“It would have spoiled the fun.” I sulked.

“Yes, surprises are fun but sometimes some guidance would be helpful.” David smiled.

“Just like it is in life, it is no so different like climbing a mountain. When you plan to climb up a challenging mountain it would be more than helpful if you seek guidance from someone who has been to the top.

“You make and learn from your own mistakes, but you can always avoid your predecessor’s mistakes. Listen bella, to what they have to say. Listen to their stories. Listen carefully and you’ll be enlighten.” He said.

Chapter 23. Soup and Pepper

Nothing exciting happened at school that day. I walked lazily to the park, hoping that meeting David would brighten my day.

I was standing a few feet away from the usual bench when I saw David talking to a small boy. I saw him offered the boy his box of candies. I felt a pang of jealousy stabbing in my chest. I guess the thought that the box wasn’t just between me n David made me jealous.

I heard them talking.

“What is that?” the boy asked

“These are candies, would you like some?” David offered.

“There are so many of them” the boy said in amusement, “And all different colors”

Even from a distance I noticed his eyes glowed in excitement and his color rushed to his cheek. His smile widened and I couldn’t help when a warm feeling filled my chest and I smiled too.

“Why are there so many different colors?” the boy asked again.

“Because each one of them has a different taste” David said.

“How many of them?” the child asked again curiously.

“Plenty… why don’t you try one?” David once again offered the boy to pick one candy.

I find the scene peculiar. A boy talking to a homeless hobo who is offering him candies. Didn’t the boy’s parents taught him to not take candies from stranger? Where are his parents anyway? Why aren’t they looking out for him? I frowned at my thoughts.

Not wanting to distract them from their conversation, and wanting to know the child’s reaction to the candy he picked, I stayed where I was.

“What’s this one taste like?” The boy asked pointing at one of the candies in the box.

“Mangos” David said.

“And this one?” The boy pointed to another one of the candies.

“Chocolates”

“Yuummm… What about this one?” he again asked

“You wouldn’t want that one, it tastes like pepper…” David said patiently.

“What’s pepper?” The boy asked

“It’s a seasoning your mom put in your soup so it doesn’t taste bland”

“So it is a good taste.”

“Yes, when you mix it with soup, but it is very spicy if you have it alone.” David said.

“So do you have anything that taste like soup?” The boy asked.

I held back a chuckle. The boy was filled with questions and eager of knowing.

“Hmm.. I think I have something like that.” David smiled brightly. It was obvious that he was enjoying the conversation with the boy and the boy’s reaction amused him.

“Is it okay if I take 2 candies?” The boy asked.

“Yes of course. I’m guessing you want the soup taste one and the pepper one?” David assumed.

“Yes please.” The boy nodded.

David gave the boy the two candies. The boy put those two candies in his mouth at once.

“How’s it?” David asked.

“It’s hmmm… just like my mom’s soup, just a little more spicy.” The boy said.

“Tell me something, why did you take those two? I saw you eyeing the chocolate one, why didn’t you take that one?” David asked.

“Well, while I’d like the chocolate one, I thought that nobody would pick the pepper one and it will be left alone. Even if someone did pick the pepper one, they wouldn’t like or enjoy it. So I thought why not mix it and make it taste better so it can be enjoyed. And the experiment worked, I enjoyed the pepper taste candy with the soup taste candy.” The boy said in his innocence.

David smiled and rustled the boys’ head. Just then a charming looking lady approached the duo.

“Come on Henry, time to go.” She said wrapped her arm on his shoulder. She looked at David and smiled, “Thanks David.” She said sweetly.

“No problem kiddo…” David said waving his hand at the lady without standing up. She waved back and walked away with her kid.

Chapter 22. Tuesday

Even when you have been feeling great the whole week, even when you feel your life is good, sometimes you still wake up with a crappy feeling.

That morning I woke up feeling blue. I didn’t wanna wake up. Everything seemed wrong and I wish I could sleep all the time and never wake up. And for no good reason, the past came and clouded my mind.

I wondered if my choices were right, and why didn’t I try harder to get a better life. Did I wanna be here? Where do I wanna go next?

I thought about Daniel and how I felt for him, I liked what I felt and wondered if I could ever feel the same way again. What if I never do? What if I never meet anyone that would make me feel again? What if for the rest of my life nothing excites me again?

I realized these were the thoughts I had when I decided to end my life and my mind started to wonder what stopped me. That’s when David came to my mind. David and his box of candies, his fucked up life, and his cheerful laugh.

I thought about his story about his life and how after all he has been through, he could still wake up in the morning, after a long mourning period that is. Doesn’t the past come and haunt him at times? How does he get pass that?

Thoughts were clouding my brain and I seriously considered calling in sick and just stay in bed.

And the candies? A small conscience whispered. What about the candies?

Perhaps I’ll skip it today. I thought as a reply. It’s just a day, just one candy.

But then I thought about the colors in that box, the taste of every candy I had tasted so far and I started to wonder what other tastes were there? What other colors?

A smile curled up on my face as I could imagine David’s voice telling me, “Bella, just like you find a new taste, a new color every time you look into that box, you’ll always find something new everyday if only you give it a chance to show you.”

I jumped off the bed and got ready, I’m giving Tuesday a chance.

Chapter 21. Roses

21

“You see bella, God is just. He had created this universe in balance.” David said as he plucked a small daisy flower from near his feet. “God had created bees as such that they could suck honey from this tiny flower and in the process help these flowers to reproduce. Tit for tat…” David handed me the daisy.

The yogurt-flavored candy was still melting in my mouth and I was still appreciating its taste. I took a look at the tiny flower and it made me think for the first time, how did bees suck honey from it? It is so tiny; does it even have honey?

“If God notices the simplest and smallest things in this wide universe, wouldn’t you think He, or She, who knows” David shrugged then continued, “notices you too?”

“For every small bit of you, for every small thing, every small simple incidences, God has prepared something bigger. For every sorrow you endure, joy is lurking around. For every hardship you face, success is not far away.

“Just like after the sharp taste of mint, you co-incidentally picked up the yogurt-flavored candy to wash off the sting, life is filled with ups and downs following each other.” David said.

“The Universe was created in a balance and that balance will always be maintained and so will the balance in us. So when you are faced with sadness and troubles know that not far from it is joy and cheers as the balance are always restored.” He concluded.

“And if the balance is disturbed?” I asked.

“Well, for every action there is a reaction and that reaction leads to another action and so it continues. When the balance is disturbed the universe will find a way to restore it. Whether it’s the flood that destroys the housing that was once a forest, or the new diseases that was never seen before after human discover clones, it always finds a way, bella.” He said.

“But why do sorrow exists? Why can’t the universe be in balance in happiness?” I asked stubbornly.

“Will you know what light is or how it looks like if you were blind?” He asked. I ponder about it.

“If all you knew your entire life is darkness, then you will never recognize light, let alone appreciate it.” He said. “And vice versa, if you never knew darkness and all you knew was light, you will soon be annoyed by it and wished for darkness. You will forget to appreciate the light or how important it is.”

“So, you are saying if all we knew is happiness, we wouldn’t appreciate it?” I tried to conclude what he pointed out.

“Would you appreciate it?” He challenged me. “Think about it, would you even know it is happiness that you are experiencing when you don’t have sorrows to compare it with?”

“That makes sense…” I said nodding.

“And bella, what made roses so special even when there are other more beautiful flowers is the fact that to grow them is hard. You need all the right things, the right temperature, the right environment, the right fertilizers and all the dedication and care.

“And even then, when they blossom, they have thorns that protect them and make them harder to pluck. And that itself, having thorns, makes their beauty more appreciated than those of other flowers.

“Just like you bella...” he smiled at me.

I pointed my right hand to my chest and asked “Me?”

“Yes, you! You are a rose, bella. The hardship you went through is part of growing that rose, and it gives you thorns to protect yourself and makes your beauty more appreciated, even when you don’t realize it.” David placed his hand on my head and ran through my hair like a father would to a daughter.

That night I dreamt of dad, how he would be, how he would treat me if he were still alive. I didn’t remember the dream clearly, but I remembered a warm hug and the feeling lasted even when I woke up.

I had never missed having a dad or even wondered how it would be until that day. I wished I had known my father; I wished I could meet him and talk to him. I was sure that even after all I did he would have still loved me unconditionally. And although I denied it, I felt he would have been proud if he were to see me.

David sure knew how to bring nostalgic feelings, he had his ways to make me think and ponder. I had never missed my family or thought of having a father before I started talking to him. I was almost certain that he was either a spiritual being or the very least a psychic.

I laughed at my thoughts, it would be stupid to believe that.

Chapter 20. Opportunities

20

“Go on Bella, don’t you wanna try the other candy?” David asked nodding to the candy in my hand. I had forgotten all about it and it had melted a little on to my hand and it was sticky.

“Look at that, the warmth of your hand melted the candy…” he said with an astonished tone.

“Just like opportunities, if you just hold on to them and not take and make the best of them, they will just melt with time and your illusion that you still have ‘em.” He said winking his eye. “Opportunities never come twice, bella. Grab ‘em when you can, don’t wait for a better one, it might never come.”

“And if a better one does come later?” I asked.

“Then grab it too… simple.” He said with a simple smile. I shook my head and laugh. The way he made things seems simple makes me wonder if he ever had hard times in making choices. But perhaps what he had been through made him adapt to change faster than normal people. He did go through a lot to realize that things could be simple if we want them to be.

“Life is as it is complicated and confusing like messed up strings. Why make it worse? Simplify things; flow with it, eventually you will reach one end of it. If you tug on the messed up strings, you will just tie them all up and make it worse, but if you patiently follow the route of each string, or even just one of those strings, you will eventually reach one end of it and pull it out from the mess.

“And if in between you reach a cross way, that is you are face with decision to make, choices to choose, be confident in what you chose. Follow your heart, use your brain, trust your soul and don’t let your ego rides you and you will be fine.

“Life, bella, can be simple if you want it to be.” He said, conforming my thoughts just moments earlier.

“Now go on, eat the candy before it completely melts away.” He added.

The moment the half melted candy touched my tongue I felt the sour sweet taste of yogurt filled my mouth. It was cooling and it washed away the stinging mint taste that was left.

Chapter 19. Can Never Have Too Much of Forgiveness

19

I had the green color first; it was mint, so sharp that tears started to form in my eyes. I didn’t want David to think I was weak and can’t handle a sharp taste, so I kept it in my mouth. But I couldn’t stand it longer than few seconds. David laughed as I spat out the candy. 

"Mint, ah... at the perfect amount is a taste you want in your mouth, especially after a meal. Keeps your breath fresh and leaves your mouth with a tingling sensation. Just like adventures, travels and parties and everything else in life; at the right amount, its fresh and needed, but too much of mint, it gives you a sharp kick you don't want, a taste that is close to bitterness. To much of everything is never good. You might be stubborn and hold on to them as long as you could, like you did just now with the candy," David winked at me, I felt my cheeks getting warm and wrinkled my nose, giving him faces. “But at the end, you will have to let go.” He said ending his sentence.

I wondered if he had tried everything that he could know the tastes of the candies I chose or he is a mind reader.

"Even your emotions bella, Love is important, but too much love sometimes brings you close obsession and obsession leads to destruction. Anger, although it most often leads to a destructive end, at the right time and place it’s your weapon to defend yourself. It is a way you protect yourself from being taken advantage of or being hurt.


"Happiness bring joy and high and rush of adrenalin and confidence, but when you are happy all the time then will it be happiness again? You know you are happy when you know you went through sadness.


"Fear; at the right amount it’s a warning sign, gives you the benefit of doubts and keeps you alert and careful. But to be too fearful stops you from doing anything, stops you from exploring further and finding out new things." He took a breath and looked at me.



"See bella, everything at its right level is good and needed"

"What about honesty? There can't be too much of truth?" I asked. He laughed at my question.



"Point me one human relation that is solely based on truth and never had a lie in it. Tell me one person that has never lied in his entire life." He said. I thought about it and frowned.



"Bella, make no mistake, honesty is indeed the best policy, but also realize at times we need to shield the truth a bit. Too much truth may hurt or even destroy a person and or a relationship.

“If life was solely based on the truth, then there would not be a place for compassion. There would only be black and white, right and wrong, there would not be a grey area or any buts on any circumstances and compassion as an element of decision would be abandoned.”

"You never told the truth about your work with the mafia to your mother and brother, why?" he asked.



"Well, for starters, they wouldn't allow me to if they knew." I said.



He gave me a smile, a knowing smile, “Exactly! And knowing you, you would not listen and still go on with it and that would hurt them and lead to arguments and consequently ruin your relationship with them.” He said. “Am I right?”

He was right.

“That’s the simplest that could happen, it could be worse. They could start blaming each other on your decision to work that way for money. Your dear mom could start blaming herself for she would think she didn’t do a good job in raising you. Your brother would feel guilty for not working hard enough to earn enough money for all of you so you didn’t have to do illegal work. And so on and so on.”

"Mostly that's what happens if there is too much honesty. Sometimes we forget that everyone has their dark sides and most of the time it’s better remain hidden." 

He concluded.

I thought about it and still wanted to challenge him more.



"What about forgiveness? Would you say that we should stop forgiving? Or that there is an instance we should just not forgive at all?" I asked.



He stroked his chin and thought about it for a while. 

"Hmmm... yes perhaps forgiveness is the only one thing you can never have too much of. Everyone deserves a second chance, even ourselves." He smiled.

I felt a little pride and joy when he agreed to my opinion. He looked at me with gleaming eyes and usual smile, made me feel that I had made him proud, that he thinks of me as his equal, not a young girl who needed directions.