30. The End but Not The End

My flight was at 14.00 P.M., at 08.00 I was already at my favorite bar with my luggage. It was not much, a small luggage and a hand carry. I had given most of my stuffs away, things can be bought, and memories are ones irreplaceable.

I was in the middle of my breakfast when David joined me.  He ordered omelete and bacon. The bar was looking out to the sea, we ate half our meals in silent, just absorbing the beautiful aura around us.

“so...” i said when the waiter took my plate.

“so...” he said, still busy with his meal.

“I’m leaving today”

“I know...”

“Won’t see you anymore...”

“Uh huh...”

I gave up, he told me too meet up with him before my flight, I thought there was something important, but he was indifferent.

I light up a cigarette from a pack i bought the other night and smoked while i waited for him to finish his meal.

“Patience bellaa...” he wiped his mouth after his last bite, at last. “is golden.”

“Did you make me wake up this early just to say that?” i said sarcastically.

He laughed his dry crispy laugh. “some part of people just don’t change, do they” he smile into my eyes. 

“Well at least you smile more often now...”

“You are more than half of the reason”

For a short while he just looked at me and smile. Then he took his precious box of candy, opened it, looked at it for a while, picked one and gestured me to open my hand.

He reached my opened palm with his fist, rested his fist on it and opened it slowly. “I choose this for you today.” He said slowly.

I saw what he had placed on my palm, it was a black colored candy. I looked at him, he nodded. I put the candy in my mouth. It had no taste, it was bland. I felt the glassy surface on my tongue, but no flavor. I raised my eyebrow at him, demanding an explanation.

“Think of your favorite moments.” He instructed.

All this time I’ve learned not to argue nor to question what David tells me, so I closed my eyes and started reminiscing the moments that were important to me. The look on my mother’s face when I entered high school, her face when she didn’t lose her diner. Ramon’s hug when I won the three legged race with him.

That exact time when I first met Daniel, his eyes locking into mind, his hand caressing my cheeks. The night he squeezed my hand and we ran away together.

The first time I tasted that cantaloupe flavored candy, David’s crispy laugh. The mornings I woke up to the thought of trying a new flavor. Mauryn’s hugs and smiles. Ramon’s voice on the phone

I smiled and sucked on the candy and somehow, in a way I could not explain, the candy tasted good, almost heavenly.

“See Bella, an occasion, a situation, a moment in life is bland...” he started, like i knew he would. “you and your feelings, your emotions defines it. You choose it to be a moment of happiness or a moment of sadness. You choose it to be your favorite moment or you least. You decide to concentrate on the positive side of it or the negative. Every moment, every incident in life is like a two sided coin, it has a negative side and a positive side to it. It is up to you which side you decide to focus on.”

“So the candy tasted good because I remembered the moments that made my heart sing?”

“No Bella, the candy is still bland, but you enjoy it nevertheless because you can only think of joy. Same as the situation, it remains still, the same. It does not move to be better nor worse, but in your eyes, your perception, it is how you want it to be.” He smiled.

“The situation, the incidence, it is at zero point, it is the pivot point. It does not move, it stays still.... everything else around it shuffle. It stays clear and non-prejudice, it is just a moment.... YOU” he emphasized on it “makes it what it means to you.”

“You see Bella, the universe gives you that much control that you yourself could choose to be happy or not to be.”

I never would have described myself as a crybaby or a teary person, but it seems lately, since i have met David, i had cried more than i had in my entire life. I felt the silent tear falling on my cheek. I wiped it off and sniffed.

“David, trust you to create a mellow moment.” I said laughing. I hugged him, real tight... he hugged me back. 

“I will miss you, your laugh and your wisdom....” i said, “and your box of candies...”

I let go of him. He shoved me the wooden box.

“I will miss you too Bella. More than you would know.” He winked. “For all you know, i could have been a fraud, but you listened to me anyway and for that, i am grateful.”

I smiled and sniffed.

“This...” he once again shoved the his box of candies into my hand until i grabbed it. “Is my token of appreciation for you.” He says. “I would not start to speculate what influence i have on you, but i certainly can thank you to be a part of my journey of life.”

“I... I can accept this... This means too much for you.” I said

“It doesn’t... not anymore. Now this box means more to you than it would be for me.” He said caressing my hair. “Use it wisely... share it, keep it to yourself, whatever you do, just remember the times we had and the things we learned.”

I couldn’t say no anymore, tears were rolling down my cheeks again and i wiped it as fast as it came but i wasn’t fast enough. David hugged me until i calmed down. When i did, i gave him a peck on the cheek and whispered “thank you”

***

29

The night before my depature, I had beers with David and Mauryn and sure enough they hit it of well. David and Mauryn both have similar views about life and souls. And I guess if anyone was to say how auras click... this was one of that instances.

We drank and talked and laughed all night. There were tears, Mauryn hugging me telling me not to leave just yet. And the next moment she was already making plans to come visit me at my home town.

David just sat there drinking his beer and making jokes all the time. I caught him looking at me with watchful eyes a couple of times. Once when Mauryn was in the toilet I asked him why he kept looking at me that way.

“Bella, remember once I told u how beautiful ur smile is? That time you were careful about it.. and tonight you can’t stop smiling and you are glowing and I just can’t stop staring at that beauty.”

I felt my face hotter. His eyes staring into mine was soft, caring, fatherly like. I realized that this past month, David had been the father figure i had always needed, the father i never had.

My eyes got misty, before a tear could drop, i wiped it off. David carresed my hair and said, “You have come a long way Bella, you have filled my heart and cheered my soul. I will miss you dearly, but it is time you went home.” He smiled

“I...” my lips quivered. “Thank you...” I muttered softly. That was the only thing i could say, where in all honesty, i wanted to thank him for my new life. I wanted to let him know, he was the one who cheered my soul, who placed the smile on my face, who gave me wings. But thank you was all i could muster, and i guess that was enough for him.

When Mauryn came back from the toilet, i told her all about the box of candies. I thought she would ask if she could try one, to my surprise she smiled and said “you need that one box of reasons once in a while, I sure as hell had mine”

Whatever lessons Mauryn had learn in whatever way, I’m sure that was why she was who she was. I finally understood why it was easy to be around her, perhaps at a time she was once like me.

Mauryn suggested we move and continue destroying our liver, David bailed. Before he left, he asked me if i had time before my flight tomorrow to meet him, i had. So we arranged to meet in our place the next morning.

Mauryn took me to one of her places. A bar somewhere in a place where you would not think a bar would exist with name as funny as “Here” or “Not-Closed” or like this one called “Vices”. She has all these people she hangs out with who are either musicians, bar owners or just plain slackers trying to be artists. But they are a bunch of cool people to hang out with and I always feel good when I meet them. And like always, we bumped into one of her groups of friends at Vices.

We met James, Mauryn’s boy friend (or so i thought), but there was just awkward hi’s and we sat further away from where he was. Later on I saw that he was with another girl, and i was sure it was a date. I wanted to ask Mauryn about it, but it just didn’t feel right. Until she noticed i was giving James dirty looks.

“We broke up” Mauryn said

“When? You were still together last weekend.”

She laughed, “Trying to fix what was broken was more like it” she said.

“Why?”

“Sometimes, things just don’t work out... no matter how much you want it to work out. Even when you try as hard as you might, sometimes things just don’t go the way you want them to.” There was a slight sadness in her eyes.

“Are you okay? We can move somewhere else.” I offered

“No, I’m fine. We almost never know the reason but i have always believed, things are exactly the way they need to be.”

“I am always amazed how positive you can be, and always cheerful.”

“Let me let you in a secret, everything that happens, every incidence in our lives, they are like the two sides of a coin. They have a negative side, which we and most people give our attention to, and the positive side, which we tend to forget. But if you wake up every morning thinking ‘i will only see the positive of everything’ and you actually focus on the positive outcome of everything, then i tell you, life gets better and easier and lighter.”

“When did you become this wise?”

“When i met my ‘David’” she winked.