Chapter 21. Roses

21

“You see bella, God is just. He had created this universe in balance.” David said as he plucked a small daisy flower from near his feet. “God had created bees as such that they could suck honey from this tiny flower and in the process help these flowers to reproduce. Tit for tat…” David handed me the daisy.

The yogurt-flavored candy was still melting in my mouth and I was still appreciating its taste. I took a look at the tiny flower and it made me think for the first time, how did bees suck honey from it? It is so tiny; does it even have honey?

“If God notices the simplest and smallest things in this wide universe, wouldn’t you think He, or She, who knows” David shrugged then continued, “notices you too?”

“For every small bit of you, for every small thing, every small simple incidences, God has prepared something bigger. For every sorrow you endure, joy is lurking around. For every hardship you face, success is not far away.

“Just like after the sharp taste of mint, you co-incidentally picked up the yogurt-flavored candy to wash off the sting, life is filled with ups and downs following each other.” David said.

“The Universe was created in a balance and that balance will always be maintained and so will the balance in us. So when you are faced with sadness and troubles know that not far from it is joy and cheers as the balance are always restored.” He concluded.

“And if the balance is disturbed?” I asked.

“Well, for every action there is a reaction and that reaction leads to another action and so it continues. When the balance is disturbed the universe will find a way to restore it. Whether it’s the flood that destroys the housing that was once a forest, or the new diseases that was never seen before after human discover clones, it always finds a way, bella.” He said.

“But why do sorrow exists? Why can’t the universe be in balance in happiness?” I asked stubbornly.

“Will you know what light is or how it looks like if you were blind?” He asked. I ponder about it.

“If all you knew your entire life is darkness, then you will never recognize light, let alone appreciate it.” He said. “And vice versa, if you never knew darkness and all you knew was light, you will soon be annoyed by it and wished for darkness. You will forget to appreciate the light or how important it is.”

“So, you are saying if all we knew is happiness, we wouldn’t appreciate it?” I tried to conclude what he pointed out.

“Would you appreciate it?” He challenged me. “Think about it, would you even know it is happiness that you are experiencing when you don’t have sorrows to compare it with?”

“That makes sense…” I said nodding.

“And bella, what made roses so special even when there are other more beautiful flowers is the fact that to grow them is hard. You need all the right things, the right temperature, the right environment, the right fertilizers and all the dedication and care.

“And even then, when they blossom, they have thorns that protect them and make them harder to pluck. And that itself, having thorns, makes their beauty more appreciated than those of other flowers.

“Just like you bella...” he smiled at me.

I pointed my right hand to my chest and asked “Me?”

“Yes, you! You are a rose, bella. The hardship you went through is part of growing that rose, and it gives you thorns to protect yourself and makes your beauty more appreciated, even when you don’t realize it.” David placed his hand on my head and ran through my hair like a father would to a daughter.

That night I dreamt of dad, how he would be, how he would treat me if he were still alive. I didn’t remember the dream clearly, but I remembered a warm hug and the feeling lasted even when I woke up.

I had never missed having a dad or even wondered how it would be until that day. I wished I had known my father; I wished I could meet him and talk to him. I was sure that even after all I did he would have still loved me unconditionally. And although I denied it, I felt he would have been proud if he were to see me.

David sure knew how to bring nostalgic feelings, he had his ways to make me think and ponder. I had never missed my family or thought of having a father before I started talking to him. I was almost certain that he was either a spiritual being or the very least a psychic.

I laughed at my thoughts, it would be stupid to believe that.

Chapter 20. Opportunities

20

“Go on Bella, don’t you wanna try the other candy?” David asked nodding to the candy in my hand. I had forgotten all about it and it had melted a little on to my hand and it was sticky.

“Look at that, the warmth of your hand melted the candy…” he said with an astonished tone.

“Just like opportunities, if you just hold on to them and not take and make the best of them, they will just melt with time and your illusion that you still have ‘em.” He said winking his eye. “Opportunities never come twice, bella. Grab ‘em when you can, don’t wait for a better one, it might never come.”

“And if a better one does come later?” I asked.

“Then grab it too… simple.” He said with a simple smile. I shook my head and laugh. The way he made things seems simple makes me wonder if he ever had hard times in making choices. But perhaps what he had been through made him adapt to change faster than normal people. He did go through a lot to realize that things could be simple if we want them to be.

“Life is as it is complicated and confusing like messed up strings. Why make it worse? Simplify things; flow with it, eventually you will reach one end of it. If you tug on the messed up strings, you will just tie them all up and make it worse, but if you patiently follow the route of each string, or even just one of those strings, you will eventually reach one end of it and pull it out from the mess.

“And if in between you reach a cross way, that is you are face with decision to make, choices to choose, be confident in what you chose. Follow your heart, use your brain, trust your soul and don’t let your ego rides you and you will be fine.

“Life, bella, can be simple if you want it to be.” He said, conforming my thoughts just moments earlier.

“Now go on, eat the candy before it completely melts away.” He added.

The moment the half melted candy touched my tongue I felt the sour sweet taste of yogurt filled my mouth. It was cooling and it washed away the stinging mint taste that was left.

Chapter 19. Can Never Have Too Much of Forgiveness

19

I had the green color first; it was mint, so sharp that tears started to form in my eyes. I didn’t want David to think I was weak and can’t handle a sharp taste, so I kept it in my mouth. But I couldn’t stand it longer than few seconds. David laughed as I spat out the candy. 

"Mint, ah... at the perfect amount is a taste you want in your mouth, especially after a meal. Keeps your breath fresh and leaves your mouth with a tingling sensation. Just like adventures, travels and parties and everything else in life; at the right amount, its fresh and needed, but too much of mint, it gives you a sharp kick you don't want, a taste that is close to bitterness. To much of everything is never good. You might be stubborn and hold on to them as long as you could, like you did just now with the candy," David winked at me, I felt my cheeks getting warm and wrinkled my nose, giving him faces. “But at the end, you will have to let go.” He said ending his sentence.

I wondered if he had tried everything that he could know the tastes of the candies I chose or he is a mind reader.

"Even your emotions bella, Love is important, but too much love sometimes brings you close obsession and obsession leads to destruction. Anger, although it most often leads to a destructive end, at the right time and place it’s your weapon to defend yourself. It is a way you protect yourself from being taken advantage of or being hurt.


"Happiness bring joy and high and rush of adrenalin and confidence, but when you are happy all the time then will it be happiness again? You know you are happy when you know you went through sadness.


"Fear; at the right amount it’s a warning sign, gives you the benefit of doubts and keeps you alert and careful. But to be too fearful stops you from doing anything, stops you from exploring further and finding out new things." He took a breath and looked at me.



"See bella, everything at its right level is good and needed"

"What about honesty? There can't be too much of truth?" I asked. He laughed at my question.



"Point me one human relation that is solely based on truth and never had a lie in it. Tell me one person that has never lied in his entire life." He said. I thought about it and frowned.



"Bella, make no mistake, honesty is indeed the best policy, but also realize at times we need to shield the truth a bit. Too much truth may hurt or even destroy a person and or a relationship.

“If life was solely based on the truth, then there would not be a place for compassion. There would only be black and white, right and wrong, there would not be a grey area or any buts on any circumstances and compassion as an element of decision would be abandoned.”

"You never told the truth about your work with the mafia to your mother and brother, why?" he asked.



"Well, for starters, they wouldn't allow me to if they knew." I said.



He gave me a smile, a knowing smile, “Exactly! And knowing you, you would not listen and still go on with it and that would hurt them and lead to arguments and consequently ruin your relationship with them.” He said. “Am I right?”

He was right.

“That’s the simplest that could happen, it could be worse. They could start blaming each other on your decision to work that way for money. Your dear mom could start blaming herself for she would think she didn’t do a good job in raising you. Your brother would feel guilty for not working hard enough to earn enough money for all of you so you didn’t have to do illegal work. And so on and so on.”

"Mostly that's what happens if there is too much honesty. Sometimes we forget that everyone has their dark sides and most of the time it’s better remain hidden." 

He concluded.

I thought about it and still wanted to challenge him more.



"What about forgiveness? Would you say that we should stop forgiving? Or that there is an instance we should just not forgive at all?" I asked.



He stroked his chin and thought about it for a while. 

"Hmmm... yes perhaps forgiveness is the only one thing you can never have too much of. Everyone deserves a second chance, even ourselves." He smiled.

I felt a little pride and joy when he agreed to my opinion. He looked at me with gleaming eyes and usual smile, made me feel that I had made him proud, that he thinks of me as his equal, not a young girl who needed directions.

Chapter 18. 2 Candies

18

"That was the story how I fell, stayed fallen, walked on the path of destruction and then back up again." he looked at me and smiled.



I smiled back. Although his story was one of a depressing manner, at the end of it I felt warmth. As though I could feel what he felt and felt that there was still light at the end of the dark tunnel. I didn't know what to say to him so I stayed quiet.



"Bella, there must be things you do in life that you regretted. Things you wished you hadn’t done. Things that had hurt people, things that had hurt you. Those are lessons. Those are the past. You learned from them, but you must not let them stop your path. Others that you had hurt might or might not forgive you, but it is always important to forgive yourself." He said



"As my dad says, hell is filled with people who never made mistakes. So mistakes are path to heaven.” He winked at me. I laughed.

"My dad let me choose the candy I wanted for the day after that very day, although, he never let me have more than one in a day. No matter how bad the one I took tasted." He said. "You are lucky young lady that I let u have another one when the one you took didn’t please you." he waved his finger on my nose. I smile innocently.



He opened the box of candy and let me choose. I took the one with a dark green color and before my hand was away from the box he told me to take another one. I chose the white one.



As I learnt from my previous encounter with the candies, I tried to make no assumption of their tastes. But bad habit dies hard. I thought the green would taste like grass or something and the white taste like milk.



Chapter 17. The Universe in a Box

17

"There was one night I came back from a loud night to the van. I was drunk and hungry. As quietly as possible, I went and looked around at the fridge in the van. There was plenty to eat, but one thing caught my eyes, this box" he waved the box of candies to me, it rattled as he shook it.



"I took it and opened it and I was amazed at what I saw; so many colors in one tiny box. Amazing colors all different. I was awed, I think I looked at it for minutes maybe even hours before I realized those were the candies that I had always got on my desert plate.



"I got more excited, so many colors, so many different taste." he paused. "I might have made a lot of noise or it was early morning and her time to get up, my mother walked in on me staring at the content of that box in the light of the fridge.



"She placed her hand on my shoulder and I looked up, smiling perhaps; I knew I had a funny face on cause she laughed. She laughed and laughed while she walked to the cabinet and poured coffee to her cup. She asked me if I thought those colors were beautiful. I said yes and I asked her where did this box come from. She waved her hand as though telling me it ain’t important to know.



"'What do you think when u saw it?' she asked looking at me straight in the eye. It was hard to focus and to think when you are drunk. I wanted to just leave and walk away but I couldn't, her question and the candies intrigued me.



"I tried to place words into a sentence, I told her how it made me think if this tiny box held so many different color, how many colors would there be out there, must be infinite. And if each color has different taste, how much of different tastes are there out there. I told her it made me think of the universe, how wide and huge and if the tiny box has this many colors that awed me, I wondered what else are out there. Made me think of the galaxies, all pieced up together...



"She smiled and her eyes shone. It was as though I had an exam and had the correct answers...



"'A person who seeks would see it the way you do; the tiny box is nothing compare to the universe. A person who has given up would say that if a tiny box can contain all the colors, then perhaps nothing else to see, perhaps the universe is as small as the tiny box.' She said. She then walked towards me and gave me a tight hug and whispered 'welcome back'"

Chapter 16. Hell Is Filled With People Who Never Made Mistakes

16

"My stories to him often filled with tears and rage. At every session I would feel defeated and tired and I would run back to alcohol, just so that I could sleep.



"My father, being a wise man as he was, would just comfort me by placing his hand on my shoulder, or share a beer or a joint. He did not ask if I didn’t say, neither he inquired more, but just his presence made me speak. He knew it was my remorse and regrets that led me to the path of destruction.



"One day, and I remember that day clearly, we had parked our house van at a clearing in one of the national parks in Europe. I was sitting at the front porch, smoking a joint and admiring the nature. He came and sat next to me. 



"He said, 'Son, the hell is filled with people who never made mistakes and never sinned', I laughed at his sentence. 'Think about it, no human on this planet had never made any mistake. If they think otherwise then they are the most ignorant people thus would have made more mistakes and sins than any other man. And only one place serves them right, hell'


'Every once in a while, we fall to this black hole that has the ability to suck us in deeper until we no longer exist in the real world. There are 2 types of people when it comes to that situation; the courageous ones, those who fights back the waves and come out of the black hole more knowledgeable, wiser and more careful and insightful about the other black holes that will pass his path. The other is the fool who gives up and gives in to the self-destructive nature of the black hole. The fools are afraid of change; they get too comfortable in their black hole. They are afraid that even if they leave this black hole, they will just fall into another one, so they give up the fight and reside in the path of destruction.’ My father paused and looked me in the eye and asked, ‘Which one are you?'

I didn't have an answer. He tapped on my shoulder and got up and left. Before he entered he turned back and added 'Always know that who you are is not granted, it is always a choice. You create your own self, you create your own destiny.'

Chapter 15. Another Chance, Another Life

15

"The taste of the candy burst on my tongue waking up all my taste buds I thought I had lost. It was sour, sweet, a little bitter and a little chili; something I have never tasted before. My eyes widened.


'Like it?' My father asked
.

'Yea.. It’s alright..' I mumbled. I looked at him and he just smiled. He picked up his glasses and book and continued reading. 

”

"The next day, I saw another colored candy and had it, I knew it was a different taste as well, can't really remember what. After the third day I realized that each color has different taste. I started noticing them, I wanted to compare the taste to the color and I wanted to know if any color comes twice. I started to look forward to having the candy of the day. Only problem was, I was either too drunk or having a bad hang over when I had those candies to actually remember their taste or color the next day. I couldn't really compare them.



"When I realized this, I felt sad. I felt empty. I made a point to taste the candy sober. Thinking that way, without any effort from myself, my drinking was lessened. I started to have meals at decent hour, sitting at the table with my parents, although we didn’t talk much...



"I was still a drunk, I drank a lot, but the memory lost were lesser. The candies became by reason to wake up, to sober up, and to look forward to another day.


"In their own quiet way, my parents gave me another chance, another life." 

His story brought a déjà-vu feeling; it was similar to how I felt about those candies, they gave me a reason to be excited about my day.



"When I had enough courage to look back, to face reality, I sat down with my father and spoke about the past. He would patiently and silently listen to my rambles to all my stories; of what I did, what I had been through since I separated from them.

"He neither judged nor mad about anything. He would just listen..."



David stopped and took a breath, "am I boring you bella?" He asked
.


"No, not at all." I smiled.

Chapter 14. Family

14

David sighed. "My life went downward from then on. Alcohol, drugs and I was charged with man slaughter and arson and went to jail. My sentence was supposed to be for 20 years, but going on my second year, my dad somehow got me out of there. Being a traveler he had made a lot of contacts, powerful contacts.



"My parents took me with them and the life of traveling started again. They never asked me anything and I never told them anything. My days were gloom. I spend it sitting at the corner of the house-van, gulping down gin and hard liquor. I cried myself to sleep just to wake up to get high again."

"Every day my mother would place three plates on the dinner table, hoping I would join them at meal time, but I never did. She would clean the dishes after they have eaten but would leave my plate and the food on the table, incase I was going to eat it later. It would be late at night or in the middle of the day or early mornings that I would wake up feeling famished and eat whatever was on the table and then start drinking again.



"I didn’t notice this at first, but there was always a candy on a small desert plate by the side of my meal plate. I would eat it when I wish, sometimes I just let it be. One day, the candy that was on my table as a peculiar color, one that I don't come across often. I can’t place it in my head, it was purple yet pink, perhaps a little red. I took it and looked at it at all angle for several minutes. My father, who at that time was reading his book not far from the dinner table, dropped his book and lower his spectacles;



"'Fascinated?' he asked. I just looked at him with empty eyes. 'Eat it, tell me how it tastes.' he ordered. I looked at him as though he was crazy, I wasn’t sure if it was safe to it, but well I didn’t have anything to lose at that point so I took it and placed it in my mouth"

Chapter 13. Love, Hate and Revenge

13

David took a long breath before he continued; "One day, I saw a man a woman came out of the house, got into the car and drove away. I assumed it was Jillian and James. Thinking the house was empty, I poured fuel around the house and burnt it down" 



I took a deep sharp breath, he shook his head in despair, 

 "It wasn't long before the house started to flare. And to my surprise, James's car pulled near the burning house and he was alone. His face was pale like a ghost and he ran towards the door screaming 'Jillian!!! Jillian' and when the firemen stopped him he kept screaming 'my wife is in there!!'" 

David sighed and shrugged, it was as though he was living that moment of terror once again. I saw his face turning pale, 

"the blood rushed out of my head, I went blank for a moment. I forgot to breath. I can’t comprehend what's going on. Jillian is in there??? was my first thought that came after the blank..."

"I ran as fast as I could towards the house. While most of the firemen were holding James away from the house, I could easily dash into the burning house. I went through the house and the fire and the smoke, I couldn't see clearly, but it didn’t matter... I remembered the house well.


"I ran straight to the main bed room... and there she was, bending over the bed side table, rumbling through the drawers. I called out her name telling her that we need to get out, I pulled her but she pushed me away and went back to the drawer. She said she needed to get her treasure or some sort. When she at last got what she needed she looked at me and gave a faint smile as though she just realized I was there and she fell to my arms. 
 I carried her out, I thought I had saved her, but she sustained too much burn wounds and she had a miscarriage and bleeding. She was alive when I brought her out but she died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital." David closed his eyes. I could see sorrow and pain in his face. 



"I'm so sorry to hear that." I said. He shook his head. 



"What made it more heart breaking than anything else was when I carried her out, once we were out, she looked at me and smiled weakly, she called out my name in a her soft voice and she reached my hand with hers and handed me what was in her hand. The thing she risked her life for.


"It was a chain, the chain I had given her on our first anniversary. It had a pendulum on it where a picture of me and her was in the two sided pendulum."



David sighed.

"She still loved me... she loved me till the end. Yes, she left me for comfort, but she never stopped loving me. The thing she risked her life for, the thing she valued more than life was the identification of my love for her...


"I couldn't breath, my lungs collapsed, my mind stopped working. I wanted nothing more than death to come get me at that time."

Chapter 12. Life

12

“We finished collage together and I started a business with my best friend, James. My parents wanted me to join them again on their quests, but I wanted a simple normal life. 

I married Jillian not long after we graduated, and my business was rocketing fast. My work and personal life couldn't balance each other. I was ambitious, I wanted to be no one so I worked hard and gave more than just half of me to my work. 

 I used to go places and travel for my business. In my ego to be number one, I forgot about my loving, caring, always faithful wife. 

 For more than 15 years we were married, we never had any kids, although she wanted one badly. For more than 15 years, she kept quiet when I placed my work ahead of her. I guess even the strongest of stones would still crack under an enormous pressure." he sighed.

"The continuation is as any drama series; She had an affair with James and decided to leave me for him." he sighed again

 I rubbed his shoulder; I knew that pain, heard about it a million times. Pain and hurt that love, guilt, rejection and regrets bring.

"When all that came down, I became a drunk, a mean one. I wanted to wash away all the pain, and I kept drinking. I lost my wife, my life, my work, my house, my everything, until what was left was the clothes on me."

"But it wasn't until I found out she was pregnant with his kid that my rage became uncontrollable. Before I could stop myself, hatred wrapped around me and I was indulge in avenging them,” he sighed. For a moment I saw his dull eyes radiates pain and sorrow. Then he looked at me and forced a smile. 

 "Things you do in rage is like nailing a wall, you can be sorry for it later and take out the nail, but the hole stays. So will the scars. Remember that bella, next time your rage urge you into harming others, stop and don’t let your emotions control you."

 I nodded. He sighed again, "I wish I had someone to remind me about that at that time. Looking at their lives, jealousy ate me up! That was supposed to be me! That's supposed to be my life, my wife, my home, my kid!... all these thoughts buzzed in my head. I wanted it back! And if I can't have it, they shouldn't have it too, was what I thought." 

I felt a chill ran down my spine, I had a feeling I wouldn't like the next part.

Chapter 11. David

11

When I reached the park David was already there. He smiled and asked about my day. I smiled and told him how I enjoyed my day. David closed his eyes while listening; he would nod once in a while or smile and giggle. It was as though he was imagining what I was telling him behind his closed eyes.

There was something about him that was so calming, since the first day I met him, I felt that, and I realized that the past few days, he was the reason of my smiles, he and his box of candies. 

I stopped telling my story and just stared at him, he opened his eyes and looked at me with curiosity. 

 "What is it gorgeous?" he asked
.

I shook my head. I really didn't know what to tell him. He stopped me from taking my own life, he encouraged me to reconnect with my family, and he brought me back to my pass and then taught me how to enjoy the present. He showed me so many colors that I never realized existed. 

At the moment, he seemed to me as a guardian angel sent from above. 



Where did he come from anyways, what did he do? He seemed so mysterious. 

I was going to ask him to tell me something about his personal life when, as though reading my thoughts, he started his narration. 

 "You know bella, when I was young, I did some pretty messed up things..." he started. "I was married once..." he said



"Really?" I couldn't hide my surprise. He laughed. 



"Though I was brought up with traveling hippies as parents, there was a point in my life that I was tired of living from places to places. I hated what my parents did, you know that rebellion phase..." he chuckled. 
 
 "I went to collage like any normal kids; after being home schooled all that while, I enjoyed the diversity in college. It was refreshing. And then I met Jillian... a beauty..." he smiled and closed his eyes as though remembering how pretty she was.

He then told me the story of his life.

Chapter 10. A New Perspective

10

I woke up early the next morning; the first thought that came in my head was 'aw fuck! Another school day...' I wished I could just stay in bed. But then I remembered about David and his interesting box of candies; I remembered the colors in that box, still plenty of them. 

I smiled as I recalled the first time I saw all those colors of the candies inside the box, the cantaloupe taste and my excitement when I learned each color has different taste. I wonder which candy would I taste today. 

As though that simple thought was a source of heat, the warmth radiated to my whole mind and soul. My mood was changed and I eagerly got up from my bed and got ready.

"What should I teach the kids today?' My mind wondered as I walk towards the school. I remembered when I was a kid, I hated school cause it was same old lame lectures and notes. I had wished the teachers were more creative in teaching. 

I laughed to myself as I thought at the irony; I was one of them now. 

 Maybe in English class I could tell them to act out Romeo and Juliet or something, 
hmmm having a skit about 'lord of the flies' would be fun too. What about Geography?

So deep into my thoughts, I didn't realize I was already at the front gate of the school. If it weren’t for the security guard who greeted me, I would have missed the school. 

 My first class was English for the third graders, as it was early in the morning, the students were still excited and eager to learn. It was easy to deal with them; reading out poems with intonations and actions was all it took to amuse them into learning. 

That day wasn't like any other day that I had been through as a teacher there; I was actually enjoying myself in my classes. And I realized I have missed plenty small details in my students that I have just started noticing that day.

Jenny, a girl from the second grade was very quiet because she has braces on her teeth, which made her accent a little bit weird, and thus her friends made fun of her when she spoke. 



Alfred, a boy from the third grade who was the class clown that I send to detention a lot, was actually pretty attentive and caring to his fellow classmates. 

Julia from the fourth grade has a crush on Jimmy. How I know this? She was always stealing glances at him and, I don't know how I missed this, her notebooks were all covered with "I heart J" or J loves J or J2. 


School was suddenly fun and entertaining. So many things that could surprise you, so many incidents that you would remember your whole life. I wondered how I had missed all that. 



Perhaps I had already thought school was boring and I ignored everything else. Just like David said, when you judged something you tend to create a picture in your head and could never see the real joy behind it.

Chapter 9. Call Home

9

Talking about mom and Ramon with David that day made me missed them. That night I went to the phone booth to make a call home. I called my old house number, nobody picked up. Then I called Ramon's cell phone. After waiting for two rings with my heart thumping in my ears, I heard Ramon's husky voice answering the phone. I got so nervous; I just switched it off on impulse. 
 
My heart was beating madly... I took long breaths to calm myself down and then I dialed Ramon's number again. This time when he picked up, I didn't switch it off but I kept quiet. My voice and courage to speak got caught in my throat. I just kept breathing silently, slowly. "Hello.... hello... anybody there?" Ramon asked, sounded a little annoyed. 

"Aaa.. ak..." was all I could say. There was a long silence. It was as though that much of my voice was enough for Ramon. 

 "Emma?" he asked slowly. "Is that you?"

 I nodded, not realizing he can't see me, he could only hear me. My eyes were welling up... a funny feeling ran inside of me; a mix of nostalgia, long-nes, excitement and happiness.

"Emma... where are you now? We haven't heard from you for months, Mom is missing you so much... I miss you so much!" Ramon said emphasizing on the "I". "Haven't you had enough of your traveling? We want you home, there are so many things we wanna tell you, so many things we wanna hear from you." He kept rambling, not letting me to say anything.

 "Ramon… I miss u too" I said finally before I calmed down and spoke like normal people, not like a retarded dumb.


We spoke for nearly an hour; Ramon got engaged, he was to be married in 3 months and he wanted me to come. He said he sent me e-mails and never heard any reply. Well, in my defense, I haven't got the chance to check my mails in months either. 
Ramon now works at the hospital at the city nearest to our small town, it is an hour drive there but the pay is good and Ramon is up for a promotion. In the evenings when he comes back, he has his own clinic for the town people. Ramon says he charges as less as he could, as they are part family. 

When I asked about his fiancé, he said she is a doctor too, not a surgeon though. He said sometimes she reminded him of me; she is a free spirited woman with dreams of traveling. He said he knew we would get along. Her name is Sherry and she is part writer. He told me that she makes these beautiful bangles off used tin cans. She sounded splendid but I’m not so eager to meet her. I guess it was the jealousy that she is with my brother and she would take most of his time and he wouldn't be thinking of me that much anymore. 

 Rico is dead. A love triangle thing; one of his wives shot him after finding out he had an affair although he was already married to 2 women. I guess everything has its limits, even love. Randy, his son, is the one running his business now, he was different from Rico, and he was an honest guy. 

Mom's diner is still there; it was running so well, Ramon and mom decided to expand the place. Ramon said his reception is going to be there. Then he told me how my friends from school were doing. I can hardly remember them though. He said almost every guy had gone out of the town to go get jobs in big cities and the girls were either married or traveling and living their dreams like what I'm doing. 



Not so much to my surprise, Mom is dating my old principal. Ramon had a hard time telling me this so he waited until every other thing was out. When I asked if they were going to get married, Ramon said that mom and the principal were both liberal people, they don't believe in marriages. They are living together though.

I told Ramon about my travels and my adventures. Although, I did not tell him about David, I didn't want him to worry like how all other elder brothers do. 

I had to hung up after 45 minutes, my money was running out. 

 That night I slept a peaceful sleep, I dreamt about mom, Ramon, the diner and my small town and I realize how much I missed being home.

Chapter 8. Chili Flavored Candy

8

I woke up quite early the next morning, it always happen to me after a heavy night of drinking, I would wake up early and can’t go back to sleep. I wore my bikini and went to the beach to have a dip. It was my cure for hang over’s, swimming in the beach or the pool. After half an hour of battling the waves, I lay down on the soft sand and fell asleep. When I woke up, the sun was high and I was burning like a cooked lobster. I checked my watch, it was twelve noon; still time before I gotta meet David.

I went for a quick lunch; tuna sandwich and a bottle of coca cola, and then walked my way slowly to the park.

When I reached, he was already there, smoking a joint with a big smile on his face. I sat next to him and he offered me to take a drag from his joint. It was good weed… it had been quite a while since I had a joint and the high made me feel relaxed and calmed.

“Nice eh?” He asked, I nodded lazily.

“How was your swim?” he asked nodding at my wet hair and the towel in my bag.

“It was good, the waves were good today…”

“You didn’t surf today?”

“Nah…” I answered lazily. He looked at me waiting for a reason and I realized that, “I felt like swimming...” I said simply.

He laughed and shook his head. “I should have known… most of the times everything has the simplest reasons behind it…” he said and took a good look at me and continued, “Never you forget that, Emma…”

I just listened… this was one of his wisdom talk that I like hearing, it felt like he was reminding me of the things that I have forgotten.

He took out the box of candy and once again the excitement of trying a new taste filled in me again. There was this red colored candy, it was bright red, reminded me of a nail polish color I once had. As the candy reached my tongue, I felt burning in my tongue. I spat out the candy and looked at him with a questioning face. I was thinking ‘What the F???’

“Its red chili…” he said explaining.

“Candies are suppose to be sweet, not chili.” I said rather annoyed.

He laughed and laughed. “Didn’t we just discuss about not judging a candy by its color, yesterday?” he asked in between laughter.

I raised my eyebrows at him, still annoyed I replied, “Well, I wasn’t expecting any flavor, but I certainly wouldn’t think of chili. And it’s common sense, candies are sweet, they are suppose to be sweet and chili is hot, and it’s a spice, it can’t be a flavor for a candy. There isn’t one candy factory in this whole world that would consider having a chili flavored candy!”

“Well isn’t that a well based assumption? But it is still an assumption my dear. Candies can taste like whatever the makers want them to taste, just like how the universe can let us be how it wants us to be…” he, as always, explained the meaning behind the taste of the candy I chose. It was as if he was making me choose those candies on purpose and had his speech ready for every time I took one candy.

“And assumptions bella, it can help you prepare for the worse but can be very dangerous if you stick to it without finding out the truth. Just because you were given facts and thought of things in a certain way since you were born, doesn’t mean things can’t go differently.

“For instance, you have always believed that candies would taste sweet and chili would not be a choice of flavor because all this time all the candies you had ever had were sweet and candies were treats to kids who behave well… so you assume that every candy in this world would taste sweet. But the world is huge, the universe is infinite… things are uncertain.

“Copernicus went to quest for an alternate truth behind the earth’s existence and discover that the earth was round instead of a flat plateau, then Galileo Galilei went an extra mile and discover truth behind the universe and revealed that the earth isn’t the center of the universe, the sun is, even though he was raised with a believe that the earth was flat and was the center of the universe. Galileo discover different aspects of the planets we have in our solar system and that there were more to the universe than just our solar system. And although nobody supported him and he was being treated like a criminal, he wasn’t afraid of knowing more and expands his knowledge rather than just being satisfied of what was taught. He didn’t let assumptions came in the way…” David took a long breath after finishing his story about Galileo.

“Bella, the secrets the universe holds is more magnifying than you can imagine, so never stop searching, never stop learning and never think you have reached the top…” he added with a smile. “The moment you think you have reached the top, the only way to go is down…”

“Here, take another candy… I don’t want you going back home being mad at me for not letting you have a good taste in your mouth.” He shoved the box of candies to me. I laughed and picked a dark purple colored one. It tasted of grapes.

David asked me if I kept in touch with my mother and brother and I said I did… I called them every Christmas and new years and easters and other holidays that I remembered. He then asked how long have I been away and not met them face to face, and he was surprised when I told him that ever since I left home at the age of 17, I haven’t met them once. Well I met Ramon once during my travels, we were in Barcelona at the same time, he was there for a conference and mailed me to meet him. But I only got to meet him just few hours before he left, so that didn’t really count.

David asked if I ever thought of going home to meet them, I just shrugged. I didn’t know if they still needed me, was what I thought, but I didn’t say it out loud. Then David just commented simply that they must have missed me terribly. I did not say anything to that. He left the conversation there and kept quiet. I didn’t know what else to say so I stayed quiet too. He took out another joint and light it, took a puff and passed it to me. I smiled, shook my head a little and took a long drag.