Chapter 19. Can Never Have Too Much of Forgiveness

19

I had the green color first; it was mint, so sharp that tears started to form in my eyes. I didn’t want David to think I was weak and can’t handle a sharp taste, so I kept it in my mouth. But I couldn’t stand it longer than few seconds. David laughed as I spat out the candy. 

"Mint, ah... at the perfect amount is a taste you want in your mouth, especially after a meal. Keeps your breath fresh and leaves your mouth with a tingling sensation. Just like adventures, travels and parties and everything else in life; at the right amount, its fresh and needed, but too much of mint, it gives you a sharp kick you don't want, a taste that is close to bitterness. To much of everything is never good. You might be stubborn and hold on to them as long as you could, like you did just now with the candy," David winked at me, I felt my cheeks getting warm and wrinkled my nose, giving him faces. “But at the end, you will have to let go.” He said ending his sentence.

I wondered if he had tried everything that he could know the tastes of the candies I chose or he is a mind reader.

"Even your emotions bella, Love is important, but too much love sometimes brings you close obsession and obsession leads to destruction. Anger, although it most often leads to a destructive end, at the right time and place it’s your weapon to defend yourself. It is a way you protect yourself from being taken advantage of or being hurt.


"Happiness bring joy and high and rush of adrenalin and confidence, but when you are happy all the time then will it be happiness again? You know you are happy when you know you went through sadness.


"Fear; at the right amount it’s a warning sign, gives you the benefit of doubts and keeps you alert and careful. But to be too fearful stops you from doing anything, stops you from exploring further and finding out new things." He took a breath and looked at me.



"See bella, everything at its right level is good and needed"

"What about honesty? There can't be too much of truth?" I asked. He laughed at my question.



"Point me one human relation that is solely based on truth and never had a lie in it. Tell me one person that has never lied in his entire life." He said. I thought about it and frowned.



"Bella, make no mistake, honesty is indeed the best policy, but also realize at times we need to shield the truth a bit. Too much truth may hurt or even destroy a person and or a relationship.

“If life was solely based on the truth, then there would not be a place for compassion. There would only be black and white, right and wrong, there would not be a grey area or any buts on any circumstances and compassion as an element of decision would be abandoned.”

"You never told the truth about your work with the mafia to your mother and brother, why?" he asked.



"Well, for starters, they wouldn't allow me to if they knew." I said.



He gave me a smile, a knowing smile, “Exactly! And knowing you, you would not listen and still go on with it and that would hurt them and lead to arguments and consequently ruin your relationship with them.” He said. “Am I right?”

He was right.

“That’s the simplest that could happen, it could be worse. They could start blaming each other on your decision to work that way for money. Your dear mom could start blaming herself for she would think she didn’t do a good job in raising you. Your brother would feel guilty for not working hard enough to earn enough money for all of you so you didn’t have to do illegal work. And so on and so on.”

"Mostly that's what happens if there is too much honesty. Sometimes we forget that everyone has their dark sides and most of the time it’s better remain hidden." 

He concluded.

I thought about it and still wanted to challenge him more.



"What about forgiveness? Would you say that we should stop forgiving? Or that there is an instance we should just not forgive at all?" I asked.



He stroked his chin and thought about it for a while. 

"Hmmm... yes perhaps forgiveness is the only one thing you can never have too much of. Everyone deserves a second chance, even ourselves." He smiled.

I felt a little pride and joy when he agreed to my opinion. He looked at me with gleaming eyes and usual smile, made me feel that I had made him proud, that he thinks of me as his equal, not a young girl who needed directions.